If you have read any of my blogs you know that I am trying to get through my grief, trying to find my way …I try not to get hurt or angry over every horrible thing I have had said to me – reminding myself that -Thank God the person saying these things has no clue.
But I just read something someone said to a mom that has also lost a son….and well I just lost it…and now I am just stunned, angry, and well some people need to just shut up!!!
So to those people that have stood by me supported me – I cannot express the love and thankfulness I feel for you every day – I am so gratefull for your silence when needed, kind words, and compassion.
To the others and you know who you are…….PLEASE JUST SHUT UP – you do not know what losing a child feels like, do not compare it to when you lost your PET!!!
I do not belittle the pain you felt , but sorry, no- it is not the same …and you have no right to tell me or anyone how they should grieve or for how long!
I am a mother that has lost a child, I don’t need , ask for, or want your sympathy.
I do not post about my child for you – I do it for me – it helps me…I don’t care how it makes you feel!!!
Please do not tell me or any other parent how we need to quit “dwelling” on this – or how YOU are “tired” of us being sad, or what it feels like when you look at your pets old collar…….
Unless you have experienced what we have ( and I pray you won’t ) – you have no right to try to tell me I need to “heal” I didn’t skin my knee..I don’t have a papercut.
Please do not give instructions on how someone needs to act…who are you to tell anyone what is right or wrong??
I know I have other children, I know I have grandkids – but I don’t need you reminding me, and I don’t need you telling me that “at least I have them” They do not replace the child I have lost.
We are putting our lives together the best we can – so you telling a mom to “put this behind her and move on, after all you did when you lost you PET” Please just shut up!!
And for the love of God – do not tell a mom that she needs to find “a way to get over it”… we are doing everything we can to find the strength to go on living every day…this is our child – we will NOT get over it – and how dare you say we should.
We are lost, we are forever broken, we are on a journey through the bowels of hell – who are you to say ANYTHING to any one of us.
YOU – do not know the strength and courage it takes just to wake up every day, let alone get out of bed.
YOU do not know what it feels like to have found your baby dead…or to have watched them suffer through a horrific illness, or to know that nothing you did or could do would save them.
YOU have no clue…therefore – YOU have no right to say anything!
Do you think that losing your wonderful old pal compares in any way to losing a child whos heart beat inside of you??? The fact you are making that comparison shows the lack of understanding or compassion you have.
Do you have any idea what losing a child does to your heart, your mind or your very soul?? DO YOU??? NO…..YOU DO NOT – so please just shut up.
You have no clue how much you are causing more pain to someone you claim to be worried about….
You are not helping, so walk away…
You are the type of person, that now that some of the fog has lifted, I am purging from my life.
So you know – when a parent talks about, or posts about their child – it is not to gain sympathy, it is not to get your attention, we do it because we love our child…they are still a part of us, our family, our lives.
We do it because it helps us, because it makes us feel better, maybe even a little happy, and we need that. Even if it makes us sad in the long run, because we need to feel that too.
We do that because they are still ours, and our hearts are still with them…
We talk about them because we want our grandkids, their children to know them…so they can carry their memory with them too…
We are sorry we are not worried about how it “appears” to you…..
We talk about them, we post about them because we need to..it’s not about you..So please just shut up .