Stand by

  Over the last few days I have seen numerous posts  about how hard it is to see Facebook memories. I could have posted a couple of them myself this week….. it has been a tough couple of days with a lot of triggers. The last 48 hours I have cried with moms and dads that are faced with the worst of days, birthdays, angel dates….and I have had moms and dads cry with me over memories that will never be…. helping me to get through the sleepless nights. I know for me, this time of the year seems to be a little bit harder. … Continue reading Stand by

Home

Home sweet home….they say home is where the heart is. So what if your heart has pieces missing – what if it is broken so badly and spread in so many directions – you just don’t know where home is? Home, the place you belong. But what if you can’t find that place you belong in – what happens when the reality shatters the myth of happily ever after? What happens when one day something happens that rips the bottom right out from beneath you,  and you just don’t know where your place is any more? When you are torn … Continue reading Home

Remember that time?

There is never a time I don’t miss my son, never a moment when I don’t  think about him. I am blessed with beautiful, gifted people in my life that help me remember that he is right here with me, guiding me, still connected, just not in his earthly form. It helps knowing that, it brings me brief seconds of peace. But there are these moments, when a  simple Facebook memory reminds me that just three years ago today, me, my son and his son were out having dinner, out shopping together – before they went off to spend their weekend together. And it strikes me again … Continue reading Remember that time?

A Mothers Day

Mother’s Day. For me, a mother grieving the death of her child, this day is bittersweet. Of course I want to be with my surviving children, have the joy of being with them – but the pain of missing my son doesn’t ever go away. We have never been a holiday family, we never really had those must do traditions – we just kind of went with the flow. Since losing my son, some of the little things have become so much more needed, at least for me. But the day as a whole is so hard to face….there is that constant … Continue reading A Mothers Day

Breaking News….

For anyone but close friends and family – my son and his case that took place in St. Clair County is all but forgotten. In my opinion the criminal way people with brain disease are treated …it’s just heartbreaking. As I watched Ross Jones story tonight – I was sick to my stomach, and unable to stop crying. My heart is breaking for this family and all the other families suffering because of a system that doesn’t work, and shows no hope of being repaired. It should not be thi…s way. I was on Facebook the night this mans brother … Continue reading Breaking News….

What is the word?

I read this thing on Facebook – and I have an answer to the question..for me it is not only the right answer – but it is the only answer. The meme said: “A person who’s lost his or her parents is an orphan. A person who’s lost his wife is a widower. A person who’s lost her husband is a widow. A person who’s lost his or her child is… ?” The whole thing went on with posts from others saying there was no word in any language in the world, not one word in any language for a … Continue reading What is the word?

Happy Birthday Baby!

Today for everyone else it’s Easter – for me today is my youngest sons birthday. I struggled with the decision all week on what I should do. Do I celebrate without him, do I ignore it, sleep through it?? Bill is still my baby, it’s still his birthday. I am still his mom. It is still a day to celebrate his birth. It hurts to know that he will not be right here to have the day with us. It hurts knowing I can’t see his smile, hear his laugh…. Last year, I was still in what I call “the … Continue reading Happy Birthday Baby!